Desperate Wedding tie-ins

Are you a cringing royalist and deaf as well? Scared you won't be able to hear the royal couple say 'One does' to one another? Then this is just the thing for you.

Got too many rabbits at your rescue centre? Just name two of them Wills and Kate and let local journalists desperate for stories with a royal angle give you as much free publicity as you need.

(Also note the ad underneath for the Charlton Athletic football team, advertising a fixture that had taken place three weeks previously. That tells you everything you need to know about the intelligence of footballists.)