Pheasant

Pheasants are possibly the most stupid creatures on Earth, and they definitely have no idea what road safety is. I've never hit a pheasant on the road, but it's been a close run thing sometimes. I drive to work every day down rural B-roads in Kent and Sussex, and you quite often find yourself rounding a corner to find a dumb bird in the middle of the road, and when you swerve to avoid him he will walk deliberately into the path of your car.

How stupid are pheasants? I was cycling down a country lane once when I came across one next to a wooden fence. The pheasant ducked behind one end of the fence, walked behind it and then appeared at the other end. I got off my bike to say hello to it and it hid behind the fence again. When it reappeared at the other end, I was there waiting for it. Eeeek! It went behind the fence again, I walked back to the other end and the pheasant popped its head out once more. Repeat this sequence for half an hour. (To be honest, the pheasant is probably telling the same story to his friends, only he starts it with 'How stupid are cyclists?')