Millie - week one. Mon 3 - Weds 5 Sept 1990

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Here are the first three. (And I must admit that I didn't actually write the first two, while the third is a remix of an unpublished Saturday strip that I've already posted.)

I was having problems working out how to restart the strip in a way that would introduce the characters to new readers without having to go back to square one again, while simultaneously keeping the Daily Mirror happy. They had a more 'traditional' sense of what was possible in a cartoon strip than I did. I made several attempts but in the end a large proportion of the first two weeks of the strip were actually written by John Allard, the Cartoons and Crosswords editor at the time. And he did a good job of it, outlining the main relationships between the characters with a broader brush than I would have used myself. My scripts were a bit more metafictional. John probably made the right decision here, considering the paper I was writing for was the tabloid of the traditional Labour-voting working class - it's not that the readership wouldn't have appreciated or understood me playing with the medium of comics, but the first three strips were probably not the place to do it.

Here are those first three rejected scripts:

Monday 3 September 1990

1. No background. Millie speaks straight to camera to introduce herself.
CAPTION: NEW READERS START HERE...
MILLIE: HI! I'M MILLIE NEVILLE. I'M FOURTEEN AND I LIVE IN GLORIOUS CATFORD.

2. She introduces us to Richard, who is giving us his best pose - the one he's been practicing in front of the mirror for ages with.
MILLIE: THIS IS MY BIG BROTHER, RICHARD. HE'S SIXTEEN AND KIND OF DRIPPY...

3. Deflated, Richard starts arguing with Millie. Millie stands fast and holds out her hand as if waiting for payment.
RICHARD: HEY, WHAT HAPPENED TO THE "THIS IS RICHARD AND HE'S REALLY HUNKY" WE AGREED ON?
MILLIE: IF YOU WANT ME TO SAY THAT YOU HAVE TO MANAGE A BETTER BRIBE THAN A PACKET OF M&Ms.


Tuesday 4 September 1990

1. Sammi stands in front of a blank background. She is simpering in the direction of the person in the next frame.
CAPTION: THIS IS SAMMI. SHE'S IN MILLIE'S CLASS AT SCHOOL AND QUITE FANCIES RICHARD BECAUSE HE'S 'KIND AND SENSITIVE'.

2. Richard in front of a blank background. He drools in the direction of frame three.
CAPTION: THIS IS RICHARD. HIS HORMONES TEND TO GO ALL WIBBLY WHENEVER HE'S IN THE VICINITY OF GEMMA.

3. Gemma. Blank background. Looking at next frame. Drool etc.
CAPTION: THIS IS GEMMA. SHE HAS SO MANY ADMIRERS THAT SHE PREFERS TO IGNORE THEM UNLESS THEY'VE GOT A 'REALLY LUSH MOTOR'.

4. A Porsche 911 Carrera. Millie interrupts the strip by walking in front of the car as if it were part of a slide show. Her speech balloon partially obscures the caption.
CAPTION: THIS IS A PORSCHE 911 CARRERA.
MILLIE: SORRY ABOUT THIS. NORMAL SERVICE WILL BE RESUMED AS SOON AS POSSIBLE...

Wednesday 5 September 1990

1. Millie's bedroom. She leaps out of bed, bright and early in the morning.
MILLIE: THIS IS BRILL!

2. Kitchen. Millie in her dressing gown, pouring herself some cornflakes. She addresses the audience.
MILLIE: NOW I'VE GOT A DAILY STRIP I CAN DO WHAT I WANT ALL WEEK!

3. Richard comes in, bleary eyed, wearing school uniform.
RICHARD: UNFORTUNATELY, TODAY'S BACK TO SCHOOL DAY, MILLIE.

4. Millie and Richard leaving for school. She now has her uniform on. She addresses the audience again, annoyed.
MILLIE: WHEN I FIND OUT WHO'S IN CHARGE OF THIS STRIP THERE'S GOING TO BE TROUBLE...