Magic paws

End of story, end of November. Next week, we begin the long run up to Christmas.

The soot thickens

The soot's been a real pain to generate in Photoshop. I think next time I have to do anything like this I'll go back to creating the effect on the original drawing using a chinagraph pencil. I'm starting to rely on post-production too much.

Aaaaak!

A sequel to a strip from a month ago - the one that started the train of thought that led to this set of strips...

Millie Week 64, Mon 25 - Sat 30 Nov 1991

Back to the hypotenuse of our eternal triangle. One again, a strip is missing. The script is reproduced at the bottom of this post.

Mr Byrite was a very low end menswear shop, famed for the kind of suits that would only ever be worn once, usually at a court appearance:

It's strange to think there was once a time when Channel 4 was the intellectual pseud's TV station. Alas, no longer; Big Brother put paid to that.

Thursday's script:

1. Richard challenges Gemma outside the tuck shop. Gemma is eating bonbons out of a paper bag.
RICHARD: YOU'RE REFUSING TO GO OUT WITH ME BECAUSE I'M NOT TRENDY ENOUGH?
GEMMA: UH-HUH.

2. As before. Gemma finishes her last bonbon.
RICHARD: OK, TELL ME WHAT I HAVE TO WEAR TO GO OUT WITH YOU AND I'LL DO IT.

3. Richard now has the paper bag over his head. Gemma has one of those little smiles of triumph.
RICHARD: ARE YOU SURE THIS WAS IN i-D?

i-D is a fashion magazine, originally started in 1982 as a youthful street-level alternative style magazine. The neat thing about i-D is that it invented the emoticon 15 years early. Turn the title on it's side and it's a wink and a smile, and the model on the cover has always had a matching wink and smile to match.

"Yt's a Jollye Ollyeddye wiv yoo, Mayrye Popppinssss."

Sometimes it's good to go full out silly. (By the way, did I mention that Perkins, the cat that inspired this set, was owned by Charles Dickens' Great Great Grandson, Gerald? That has nothing to do with P L Travers and Mary Poppins, but has a tangental relationship to kids being bunged up chimneys.)

Whumpf

I used to live on the top floor of an old Victorian house. In the flat on the floor below me there was a cat named Perkins. When his folks decided to open up their fireplace and start burning solid fuel again, Perkins found the tunnel this uncovered to be fascinating. Before the chimney had a chance to be swept he decided to try it himself by climbing up the flue. With the results you see here. 

The pattern of the fireplace surround is a tribute to the ranch style fireplace Samantha had in her open plan house in 'Bewitched'. One day I will have a house with that fireplace. One day...

(PS. Ssssshhhh. I'm 49 today...)

Come home to a real fire

The strips for the next two weeks were partly inspired by this delightful old advert - but we're going to go off in a completely different direction. Enjoy...

Millie Week 63; Mon 18 - Sat 23 November

Children in Need is the BBC's annual telethon in aid of disadvantaged children. At this point it was eleven years old, and it's still going strong. (If you're one of those bloggees who likes to check this blog on the stroke of midnight GMT, this year's BBC1 broadcast is still going and you'll be able to listen to some of its side activities on BBC Radio 2 here).

"The annual Woganfest" refers to DJ and national treasure Sir Terry Wogan, still hosting the show after all these years. Children in Need without Wogan is like Comic Relief without Lenny Henry - somehow not quite right.

The last strip has gone missing. Not to worry - here's the script:

1. The sitting room at Millie's; the three girls are watching the appeal on the telly - well, Gemma and Sammi are anyway. Millie is watching the second hand on her Swatch sweep towards the magic hour.

2. Millie looks up from her watch and startles the other two as she speaks.
MILLIE: PHEW! MIDNIGHT! IT'S GREAT TO BE ABLE TO SPEAK AGAIN!

3. The other two point at their own watches. A carriage clock on the mantelpiece goes Ting! Ting! Ting! Millie slaps her forehead in annoyance as she stares aghast at her watch.
MILLIE: DON'T TELL ME - MY WATCH IS FAST ISN'T IT?

Fluff!

Further to my musings about the obviousness of verbal jokes, here's it's opposite. It doesn't matter what the gag is, if the drawing makes you laugh, you know you're onto a winner.

Obvious?

I think this joke is too obvious and and slightly ashamed of it. However, whenever I post whatever I consider to be a sub-par gag, I usually find the reaction that comes back is more appreciative than for the jokes I'm actually proud of. Maybe I'm a gag snob - forever producing tartes aux citron when I should be serving up custard pies.

Pssscht!

One of those observational strips, based on the real Cholmondeley who would always run out of the room whenever a carbonated drink was opened too near him. It took us a while to realise that what he was frightened of was the noise, which sounds like a hostile cat spitting.

I note I've used the word 'soda' here. This is what happens when you live with an American for too long, you start adopting their vocabulary. There's no such thing as a 'soda' here - it's a soft drink or a fizzy drink. Soda is what you bake with.

Millie Week 62; Mon 11 - Sat 16 November 1991

A very autobiographical set here. Rugby was compulsory at my school for the first five years. Now, I've got nothing against Rugby, I feel the same about it as I do about homosexuality - it's fine between consenting adults but it shouldn't be forced onto schoolkids by dodgy adults in tracksuits. It's taken me thirty years to get over my revulsion for the game and can now watch a Six Nations match without nausea. The last strip actually did happen to me.

Soaraway

The Sun is Rupert Murdoch's bestselling daily UK tabloid newspaper. The one with the breasts. The one without the breasts is called The Times.

2016

It's all over. Time to start preparing for the next one.

At least our elections up to now have only lasted a month, and the new PM's usually installed in Number 10 the morning after the elections. None of that waiting two months for an inauguration business for us. However, that may change. David Cameron announced that from now on we'd have fixed five year terms between general elections. So far we haven't seen any sign of us starting to enter the state of perpetual campaigning that the US seems to suffer from. But it's only a matter of time.

For the record, I'm predicting a narrow Obama victory, at least as far as the popular vote is concerned. Whether that converts to electoral college votes is another matter. I expect no change in the House or the Senate. In short, paralysis as normal.

Smith endorses Guy Fawkes

It's Guy Fawkes Night tonight. Hence the fireworks.

It's also the day before America going to the polls. Once again, hence the fireworks.

Somethings gone wrong this year. Who to chose? The so called messiah who turned out to be a huge disappointment, or the man who might be a right wing nutter, might be a centre right moderate, but is most likely to be a stuffed shirt filled with absolutely nothing. It's very dispiriting.

If your candidate doesn't get in, better luck next time. If he does get in, remember, it's your fault. And if you can't be bothered to vote, you have no right to spend the next four years grumbling.

On balance, this cartoon strip endorses Obama. Mainly because he's the one least likely to involve Britain in a third senseless war in the Middle East. And there actually appears to be someone inside that shirt.

(The original title before I edited this post, due to a mistype, was 'Smirg endorses Guy Fawkes'. Smirg. I like that. It has a Middle Earth ring to it. Smirg may return...)

Millie Week 61, Mon 4 - Sat 9 November 1991

A week of one shots as light relief after the eight week epic story of DEF and it's aftermath. I think I must have been on a stationery kick at this point as three of these gags have a school supplies theme. The fourth strip demonstrates effectively why I don't use a ruler for my frames in Smith, and prefer to draw everything freehand.

The Guy Fawkes strip (No. 2) is very of its time. It's strange to consider what an optimistic time 1991 was. Germany had reunited the year before, and this was the year in which the Soviet Union imploded. After spending the 80s convinced that the world could blow up at any moment, it seemed  to me that the world was getting better and better. Of course, we now know that Germany was sowing the seeds of the Euro Crisis, and most of the former soviet states have simply replaced one dictator with another. But back then, there was just a glimmer of hope that things might be getting better.

The last strip is very much a self portrait. I'm still like that at the weekend.

Mini

'The plague of footsies' is something that every new car in our street has to undergo. A gleaming new car gets parked in our street and overnight it gets covered in footprints. It's not just the cats that get involved. I think the cats start it off and then pass on the job to the foxes, the seagulls, and finally, the pair of badgers that live in our communal garden.