Rain

Posts are going to be a bit erratic on this blog for the moment I'm afraid. My mother is very very ill in hospital and that's all I'm really able to concentrate on at the moment. I'll post when I can, when I think I'm able to and hope to get back to an equilibrium soon. But in the meantime, please excuse me if I disappear for a few days without warning. Thank you.

Be assured, Smith will continue to post on GoComics on Mondays, Wednesday and Fridays, whatever happens.

Trampette

I was checking Google Earth around my neighbourhood, you know, the way you do because its easier than climbing over the walls of neighbour's gardens. And I found that many of the gardens in the bigger houses had identical black circles in them. It took me a while to realise that these were abandoned trampettes, those miniature trampolines usually bought to back up a well-meaning new years resolution to keep fit, used for a month and then abandoned and left to rust at the bottom of the garden by around Easter. Obviously, the cats' garden couldn't be complete without one.

You blockhead, Smith!

Originally published 29 January 2010

The only way this strip could be made more like Peanuts would be to put the cardboard box on a pitcher's mound.

Soaraway

The Sun is Rupert Murdoch's bestselling daily UK tabloid newspaper. The one with the breasts. The one without the breasts is called The Times.

Eternal Flame

The Olympic torch has been touring the UK for what seems like the last couple of billion years, and tomorrow it's Hastings' turn to have it.

In fact it's going to be chasing me around the South East of England. In the morning it will be passing through the Pantiles in Tunbridge Wells, about thirty yards away from where I work.

I'll be ready for it this time - just before the Jubilee we had a Royal visit by the Count and Countess of Wessex (or, as they're known around here, Prince Edward and the barmaid from the pub in Brenchley) and I never noticed as they turned up on the print day for two magazines I work on.

Then, in the evening, it will reach Hastings, where it will be relayed along the seafront, and after a few speeches by local dignitaries and a concert by Rizzle Kicks (no, me neither) it will be kept overnight on The Stade, the ancient fishing beach. Odds on, someone will try to nick the eternal flame and sell it on eBay.

This has certainly been a barbeque summer. Barbeques attract rain clouds in England in the same way trailer parks attract tornadoes in the US, and it's been raining non-stop since Easter.

A few guest stars in today's cartoon. Can you spot Mike Pike and Alonzo P Thurgermeyer in the crowd? Millie and Gemma (in the test versions I drew as a pitch for the Daily Mirror) are also there - Millie's in the pink shirt, and Gemma's to her right.

Drought

It's been raining solidly for what seems like three months now. Strangely, Hastings is no longer under drought orders, but Tunbridge Wells, twenty miles away, still is. It all depends on which company is supplying your water. Go to Yalding in Kent and you will still see the tide marks half way up the walls of the high street, where the drought of ten years ago reached its high water mark.

Kenny

...Except the parka in this case is a snot green colour unique to Britain. Minus points will be awarded to the first person to put up the inevitable 'Oh my god, you killed Smith, you bastard!' comment on GoComics this morning.

The difference between climate and weather.

This is weather. Because it never knows weather it's going to rain or not. And it only ever rains when you're away from shelter.

There's nothing worse than an oily cat.

The car is based on an Alfa Romeo, or, as I suppose we'd better start calling them now, a Chrysler. When they inevitably make their crossover vehicle, I imagine it will look as misshapen as this. And, being an Alfa under the skin, it will break down five minutes after leaving the showroom.

Occasional showers

This is how you know it's Spring in the UK - the weather changes every five minutes.

Strangely, I've discovered you can two two different seasons happening at the same time. I live in Hastings on the south coast. It's spring here - the two cherry trees at the entrance to our road are just starting to come out in bloom and the crocuses and daffodils on the road verges have been out for a week. However, I work in Tunbridge Wells, 25 miles inland, and it's still Winter there. I went for  a walk on the common this lunchtime, and nothing's stirring there yet.