A quiet day in Hastings

May Day in Hastings is never the quietest of days. There are two separate events happening simultaneously, The May Day Bike Run, and the Jack-in-the-Green festival. And just to add to the chaos, a old London Routemaster Bus was cruising around the town as well, searching for places to park so that the theatre group I'm part of could publicise its upcoming production of Summer Holiday. Here's the bus, about to arrive at Harold Place in the centre of the 'new town'.

It's estimated that 15,000 bikes descend on Hastings during the May Bank Holiday. Bear in mind that's a Police estimate, so if it works the same way that demo marches do, we can safely double that figure. An endless stream of bikes of all kinds, from candy coloured crotch rockets to lovingly cared for vintage Triumphs, from Honda spaceships on two wheels to outlandish custom trikes, from enormous Harleys to tiny Vespas, comes down the A21 and ends up trying to park along a couple of miles of seafront. Here's what it looked like in the morning, before all the sea mist had had a chance to burn off. As you can see, even then, the only place left to park was down the middle of the road.

By midday the pavements were starting to fill up as well.

And then the fishing beach started to fill up.

It was time to move up to the top of the hill in search of some peace. No such luck. This is where the Jack-in-the-Green festival is taking place. Here's a small section of the crowd on top of the West Hill. The Old town nestles in the valley and more people can be seen on top of the East Hill, as can the forlorn sign 'No Link Road', vainly hoping that by pretending it doesn't exist it can prevent the progress of the the pointless bypass currently being built between Bexhill and Hastings.

Here's Jack in the Green and his court. He's not the big green bloke to the right, he's actually the Christmas tree wearing a crown to the left. He's soon to be escorted to the main stage by the Bogies surrounding him, where he will be ritually slain and the spirit of Summer will be released for another year. Or something like that.

 And that's what this cartoon from last year was all about.

Jack in the Green

Permit me a local in-joke every now and then. As older readers may remember, this strip is set in Hastings, a tatty but lively resort town on the south coast of England. Today is the May Bank Holiday - and on that day two things happen.

1) The Jack in the Green festival. This is an excuse for hippies, folkies, pagans, morris dancers and other rather wonderful misfits to get together on Castle Hill and celebrate the coming of the new Spring. They do this by covering themselves in green dye and symbolically slaying a garlanded figure called The Jack in Hastings Castle, in order to release the spirit of the new summer. Then they find a Christian to burn in a wicker man. Imagine a renaissance fair with more ritual violence.

2) The Hastings Bike Run. Simultaneously, Hastings is invaded by 20,000 motorcyclists riding down the A21 on all manner of bikes. The seafront becomes a three mile long cycle rack filled with all kinds of motorbike. You'll find fantastic customised bikes, spotless Harleys, classic Triumphs and Nortons, some scary looking (but very friendly) greasers on terrifying looking trikes and a very few obnoxious tosspots on Kawasakis and Ducattis roaring up and down the promenade.

So, on the top of the hill we have the faerie folk in their green dyed hemp clothing, and on the bottom of the hill we have the bikers in their black leathers. And you know what? They get along fine. An Old Town pub in the early evening is likely to be a sea of green wafty gauze and black leather, with everyone having a fine old time.

I couldn't imagine this sort of thing being tolerated in Tunbridge Wells. They have by-laws about it.