Has it been four years already?

Yes, we're getting ready for the World Cup again. I've got a pile of DVD's and a stack of books ready to last me through the summer while soccer infiltrates every waking hour that God made. I'm reasonably confident that England won't make it past the first round this time, and if by come miracle we manage to get to the last 16 we'll be eliminated on penalties as normal. The prospect of England actually winning the Cup doesn't bear thinking about. We still haven't got over winning the cup in 1966. If we win it again this year you'll NEVER HEAR THE END OF IT!

The gnome on the left is in sort of Brazilian colours, while the one on the right started off being in a sort of West Ham strip, but ended up in different colours to make him stand out from the blue of the sky. The one in the middle is the Ref, which is why he's wearing glasses.

The Cat Who Stares at Gnomes

It's properly summer here in Hastings, and that means I like to spend my evenings out on the balcony to my flat, looking over the communal gardens, sitting in my garden chair reading. (Incidentally, I've just finished Kim Stanley Robinson's 2312, very highly recommended if you like cerebral wide screen space opera with no plot.) It also means that as soon as I sit down, there's a black and white presence sitting in the flowerbed directly beneath me, staring up at me.

Pyoing and other sound effects

When I was a kid I decided I would compile a dictionary of sound effects as used in comics. I went through my wardrobe of comics (when you're 9 years old what's the point of using a wardrobe to store anything as dull as mere clothes?) and catalogued in sort of alphabetical order all the onomatopoeic words I could find. You've seen several of them appear in the strip. But there are some which I've never been able to find a home for.

The most imaginative sound effects came from 'Look-In' magazine, the Junior TV Times. It was full of comic strips about the TV and pop stars of the mid 70s, drawn to order by some stunning Spanish artists whose grip on the English language was as bad as their sense of comic layout was good.

My two favourite sound effects I've never been able to use are:

KLEEKA! - The sound of David Cassidy's cheap retractable ballpoint pen being used as a weapon.

THOOOOOM-BANG! - A coconut exploding in a fairground.

One day I shall find a home for these...

Ptui

Don't argue with Gnuckles

As Morrissey once said, some Gnomes are bigger than others.

Gnome Tipping

I'm not a garden gnome fan. If you're going to go to the bother of making your garden beautiful why ruin it with a cheap imported plastic gnome from Poundland?

Gnome tipping is like cow tipping, only much easier to do.

Waterhole

Essentially setting up the locale for the next few strips. Watch as the pond gets bigger and smaller as the strip demands...