Kiti Howaito

According to her biography on the Sanrio website, ティ・ホワイト or Kitty White lives 'somewhere in Suburban London'. It's strange to think that this most Japanese of kawaii icons supposedly comes from Bromley or Croydon or Dagenham. Even odder, Hello Kitty has a pet cat! Oh, and her blood type is A.

This is my attempt at reproducing a generic TV newsroom, along the Sky News model of clashing colours, big video screens and star interviews that reveal absolutely nothing.

Stern face

There are few things as funny as a cat trying to scowl at you. As the career of Grumpy Cat and this photo of Billy proves...

When lolcats strike

It's your duty to watch those cute cat videos. Civilisation depends on it.