That was the year that was

2012 was a year that was fantastic and miserable at the same time.

On the fantastic side, we had a Jubilee that exceeded all expectations, followed by on Olympics* and a Paralympics that were so good we all thought we'd been magically transported to another country. Locally, Hastings broke the record for most Pirates in one place at the same time, the Jerwood gallery opened, The Hastleon's Oliver was a huge box-office success and Keane played a blinder of a set in a concert just behind my back garden.

On the miserable side it started raining on January 1st and hasn't stopped yet. My work load appears to have doubled but my income definitely hasn't. Smudge died, and Gizmo's kidneys have packed up and he's not responding to treatment so he's not going to last much longer. (Though it must be said, he's baffling the vet - he has so much urea in his system he should be dead by now, but apart from the fact he drinks water by the bucket, pees it out by the flagon and smells faintly of pee, you'd never know there was anything wrong with him.) The BBC is imploding, the press isn't. And George Osborne is about to invent the Triple-Dip recession, at about the same time as the Republicans are forcing the US over the fiscal cliff with their childish intransigence. (Honestly, triple-dip is a word that shouldn't be heard outside of an ice cream parlour.)

I'm playing with Osborne's excuses for his economic illiteracy. The past few excuses he's used for the ecomomy performing worse than expected have been 'a cold winter', 'a wet spring', 'Christmas' and 'The Royal Wedding'. When he uses 'The Eurovision Song Contest' as an excuse we'll know he's finally lost it completely.

* They're over - it's safe to use the O word again.

Millie Week 69; Mon 30 Dec 1991 - Sat 4 Jan 1992

It's the new year, so it's time to buy that Gym membership that's going to last all year even though you'll never visit it again after 12th January.

Shell suits were very in at that time, gaudily coloured garments made of woven grocery bags, and sold at a premium to the kind of people who have never taken a day's exercise in their lives.

Comic nerds may be interested that, rather like the Mayan calendar, the Daily Mirror's date codes reset themselves every twenty six years. Tuesday 31st December 1991 was coded Z316, and Wednesday 1st January 1992 was A1.

Totter

Its how I've always felt when seeing footage of the coronation from back in 1953. How did she move under all that stuff?

Queen Smudge

Dedicated to the real Smudge, who died on Sunday.

Smudge was the kitten who chose me when I came round to visit her litter. There were two female blue and white cats and one hen pecked all-blue male. Smudge saw me and climbed up my trouser legs and up my jumper to say hello. I knew I was going to be hers from that point onwards. And that's how it remained. Linda says I had a special smile I only reserved for Smudge, and I guess that's true, she was always a daddy's girl, and she had me wrapped around her little paw.

She'll be greatly missed, but she'll live on to boss her brother around in this strip. May she bring laughter to other people's lives in the same way she brought joy to mine. And whenever you see a wall, think of her.

My original notes for today: There's very little surplus Jubilee tat in the shops but Sainsbury's and John Lewis are awash in unsold Olympics stuff, which only now has started to reach the sort of price where you would ever consider buying it. But only if you're a fan of Olympic fuschia.

Twas the night before Christmas

Merry Xmas Everybody, as St Noddy of Holder would say. Have a great time, eat loads, and fall asleep in front of the telly. It's the one time of the year when we're all allowed to act like cats.

Millie Week 68, Mon 23 - Sat 28 Dec 1991

Two strips missing this week. One is because newspapers don't publish on Christmas Day in the UK. The other is from Boxing Day, and I obviously couldn't be bothered to go out and buy a newspaper on that day.

Here's the missing script...

1. CAPTION: THE WEEK BEFORE CHRISTMAS
Millie and her mother in the kitchen, wrapping Christmas presents. Mum is producing beautifully wrapped packages while Millie is having problems - she'sone of thsoe people that require three hands to wrap anything.
MILLIE: I HAVEN'T GOT A CLUE WHAT I'M GOING TO GET FOR DAD THIS YEAR - HE'S SO DIFFICULT TO BUY FOR.

2. Mum gives her advice as she finishes tying the ribbon on a dainty little box.
MUM: THE BEST THING TO DO WITH PEOPLE LIKE THAT IS TO BUY THEM SOMETHING YOU'D LIKE YOURSELF.

3. Christmas morning by the tree. The family is unwrapping their presents. Dad has just unwrapped his one from Millie. It is a video. He's totally noneplussed by it but shows gratitude all the same. You know - the 'Genny's knitted me another hideous jumper; goodie!" kind of gratitude. Richard is laughing. Mum just looks up to heaven.
DAD: NEW KIDS ON THE BLOCK LIVE IN MILWAUKEE - JUST WHAT I ALWAYS WANTED...

Silly souind effect note: "FRANT" is a village just outside Tunbridge Wells.

Postponed

I tell you, those shops are going to be so busy on the 22nd!

I'm drawing the view from my bedroom window here. I can wake up in the morning and if the curtains are open I can check the time from the clock on the church over the road. Better still, at Christmas they put an animated Santa illumination up on the steeple so it looks like he's ringing the bells.