The yolks on Jones

By law, in any cartoon strip in Britain, if eggs are involved you must involve the old hackneyed pun "the yolks on you" or similar. Read a copy of the Beano, Cor!!, or Whizzer and Chips from any Easter in the 70's and marvel at the way this pun is used in the final frame of every single comic strip. "Ho ho - now for a feast..."

Out of character

Reading a Wikipedia article on Diner Slang, I am assured that terms such as this are unknown outside the US. Sorry, but we know the difference between sunny side up and over easy. In fact it's so ingrained into our culture that Wings' final LP 'Back to the Egg' had both sides of a fried egg on its label, one side sunny side up and the other side over easy.

When Easter Bunnies get bored...

Incidentally, Lindt have started accessorising their chocolate bunnies with chocolate carrots - though at first glance I thought they were umbrellas...

Easter Bunny

Originally published 5th April 2010

Published on Easter Monday. I think I was still searching for the right shades of blue and green to use in the summer at this point. This combination was rejected.

Easter Traditions

Today is the first day of the Easter Holiday in the UK - we get Good Friday and Easter Monday off. Most people use the four days of consecutive freedom as a chance to do some unnecessary DIY. But there are other Easter traditions as well.

No bank holiday is complete without at least one showing of The Great Escape. We're not quite at the level of ABC putting on 'A Christmas Story' on a loop on Christmas Eve, but we're nearly there. The advent of multi-channel TV in Britain means that somewhere on the EPG you are guaranteed to see Steve McQueen failing to escape from the Nazis.

The correct time to eat Easter eggs is a bone of contention between me and Linda. I've been brought up to believe you're not allowed to eat them until Easter Sunday. Linda has been brought up to believe you can eat them as soon as they turn up on the shelves of Asda. Honestly, did Christ die for nothing?

DIY

DIY - Do-It-Yourself, something which blighted many Easter holidays in my youth. I'm no good at it myself - I'm a firm believer in GAMI: Get-A-Man-In.

Hot cross buns used to be special, only appearing at Easter, but now you can buy them all year round in supermarkets, usually piled high at supermarket entrances with a two packs for a pound offer. One a penny two a penny indeed.

Simnel cake is still definitely an Easter seasonal special. Which is just as well, as I think it's possibly the most disappointing cake in the world. (Marzipan - blee!).

Revealed: Scrumpy's secret life

I've never officially named the miserable rabbit in this cartoon - he's usually just refereed to as 'that miserable rabbit'. Well, his real name is Scrumpy Jack and he's named after a real miserable rabbit that an ex-girlfriend of mine once had.

Scrumpy was a rescue rabbit, a huge white lop eared beast. He lived at a private all girls boarding school in the heart of the countryside, where my ex taught English. He got a lot of attention, was adored by all, and he was as miserable as sin.

My ex thought he might be lonely, so she got him a companion, Stella, a small dark vivacious bunny who was as sunny and lively as Scrumpy was miserable. Stella would bound around the hut they shared, while Scrumpy would remain motionless in the middle of the floor, willing everyone to go away. The addition of two guinea pigs to the menagerie, Malibu and Pineapple didn't help matters.

Then, one Christmas, I was asked to look after Scrumpy over the holidays. Scrumpy was given the run of my flat, and I discovered what gave him joy in life. Cholmondeley, Smudge's sister, an enormous sixteen pound British Blue, was terrified of Scrumpy. And boy, did Scrumpy know it. Scrumpy would chase Cholmondeley all around the flat until Cholmondeley hid on top of the wardrobe. He'd then wait for him until he came down...

Merry Easter everyone. Here in Britain we're starting a run of Bank Holidays. We have Good Friday, Easter Monday, The Blessed EventTM and May Day happening in quick succession. Have a great time, wherever you are.