Window flags

One of the odder things that you see around World Cup time are windows which have had all their light completely blocked by an England flag. This usually signifies one or all of these things...

• The owner of the flag has accidentally broken his window in a bizarre head-butting accident and this is a replacement.
• The owner of the flag thinks beer and football are far more important than ever having a chance of getting a girlfriend.
• There is a high probablity the owner of the flag has a Citroen Saxo rusting on bricks in the wasteland that was once a front garden.

Wayne Rooney is a footballist. He looks like a potato, but has a slightly lower intellect.

The Ingerlish flag

The English flag is the cross of Saint George - a red cross on a white field. It's recognisable to everyone in the country - even UKIP voters understand what it means. Only football fans are so dumb that they have to have the word "England' written on the flag so they know which country it belongs to. However, they pronounce the word with three syllables, as that makes it easier to chant aggressively while drunk.

I know. I'm being quite unreasonable about this. But soccer during the World cup is inescapable, and the sheer relentless ubiquity of the game drives me up the wall. (I've had to recast that last sentence five or six times, taking out a different swearword each time.)